Majuro, Marshall Islands, April 2nd: how to become a bilge rat

Bilges are an essential part of Infinity, but they are like that room at the back of your basement, that closet above the water heater or that space in the attic just below the roof: they are full of crap!

Now crap isn't necessarily bad. In your attic, it might be these two extra armchairs you really liked, but your wife decided they don't match the living room's colour chart; in your basement, it could be that extremely cool PS3 that you will definitely hook up again to your television, once you get enough time to get to it. On Infinity, it is essential bits of chain, shackles, various oil containers, fittings, hoses and other bits and pieces are quite the essential stock of spares to have on a boat.

We can all agree that we would consider getting rid of it (funny thing is, readers can't really disagree with me anyway). BUT we also all now about Murphy's law: it doesn't matter how unlikely it is that that PS3 will ever be used again, the moment you give it to the Salvation Army, your neighbour will want to buy it off you for $200.

So we keep it.

Only difference between an attic, a basement and a bilge: the amount of seawater and freshwater that collects in the bilges of an old sailing yacht, and the staggering amount of corrosion it brings with it!!!

So here I am, crawling into bilges (it's much more fun than it sounds), grinding and cutting away at the wooden compartment walls ...

There is only one god in the bilges, and his name is Rot.

Yours from the bilge,

Vicou the Sea Gyspsy